Flower Man
by dayglo1
Summary: 5th in my POV series. This one's Jed.


Title: Flower Man  
  
Summary: They get enough to hurt you/ With all the things they say/ So you put on your armour/ And stand in the way  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine. Song's not mine either. Don't sue, I have no money.  
  
Author's Note: 5th in my POV series. This one's Jed.  
  
Archive: Sure, just tell me.  
  
Feedback: Makes me very, very happy.  
  
Flower man, flower man  
When are you gonna grow?  
When you gonna lay down  
Everything you know?  
  
I try not to cringe as my father's voice rises another level.  
  
"Look at these grades! What is wrong with you?! You think because I'm the headmaster you can get away with crap?! These grades have got to better next time or else you're going somewhere else! I will not be embarrassed by my own son!"  
  
Flower man, flower man  
How you gonna sleep  
With all these people  
Cutting down your feet?  
  
When he's done and has dismissed me, I sit on a bench and look at my grades. They're not really all that bad, at least I didn't think so. Mostly A's, a couple of A minuses, and a B. Not my best effort certainly, but not bad. But these don't fit into Robert Bartlet's idea of acceptable. Since my father's idea of acceptable is perfection, I very rarely fit into his idea of acceptable.   
  
Flower man flower man  
Flower man flower man  
  
After the "non-denominational" funeral service, I meet my dad's new secretary, Delores Landingham. She seems nice enough, if a bit odd.   
  
Flower man, flower man  
You're head's above the rest  
If you're gonna trust them  
They gotta pass the test  
  
For the next couple of weeks, Mrs. Landingham bugs me about the wage differences between the men and women on campus. I try to ignore her, but it's hard. A lot of what she says makes sense, but there's no way I'm going to talk to my father about this. Finally, I tell her to bring me numbers, figuring that will get her off my back. She returns the next day with the numbers.  
  
Flower man, flower man  
You're living in the sun  
Shattered and hollow  
You shine for everyone  
  
After hearing the numbers, I promised her I'd talk to him. So, here I am standing in front of his office door trying not to throw up. Mrs. Landingham passes me as she leaves for the evening. She stops and turns to me.  
  
"You know, if you spend your entire life afraid of him, you're never going to accomplish all that you're capable of", she says, then resumes her walk out.  
  
Flower man flower man  
Flower man flower man  
  
As I continue to stand outside of his door, I think about what she said. I decide to go ahead.  
  
They get enough to hurt you  
With all the things they say  
So you put on your armour  
And stand in the way  
  
But when I go in, he starts to yell at me about an article I wrote concerning book banning. And, remembering her words, for the first time I yell back.  
  
You're wearin' the target  
That took so long to earn  
And you start looking sideways  
On every turn  
  
The slap surprises me, though by now I should have known to expect it. With it comes all of my old fears and insecurities. It doesn't matter what Mrs. Landingham said, she doesn't understand. Defeated, I leave.  
  
You start looking sideways  
At every turn  
  
As I lay in bed that night, I think again about what she said. As I do, I start to get angry, who is she to judge me like that? She doesn't understand the way it is between my father and I, she has no right to comment on what she thinks she sees.  
  
Flower man flower man  
Flower man flower man  
  
I roll over and look at the clock-4:32 a.m. I guess I won't be sleeping tonight. My mind goes back yet again to what she said. So much of what I do and don't do is based on my fear of my father's reaction. That article represented the first time I dared purposely do something that I knew would anger my father. My yelling back at him tonight was the second time. Those both worked real well. Still, she's right. If I always do according to fear of my father's wrath, I will never become all that I could. As light begins to seep in through the window, I finally sleep.  
  
Flower man flower man  
Flower man flower man 


End file.
